neighbors and babies.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
there is this couple that lives in the brownstone next to us. i don't know their name nor do they know mine. i DO know their dog's name and he is the sweetest.
they are the couple that has everything a little bit better than you. i don't say this in a way that is ungrateful for anything that i have. but it's only human to compare ourselves to others. they own a car in the city, neighbor girl's hair is long and wavy, and she is perfectly dressed just so even when she walks the dog. me and sam wiggins hang in our yoga pants for doggie walks.
i've watched them from afar, though we literally share a wall. for whatever reason, they remind me of ed and myself. i'm enamored with these people and i might be crazy for it.
i often sit in the window and watch people walk by while waiting for ed to come home. last week i saw neighbor couple packing a car seat and bassinet into their perfect new york car. how did i miss that she was pregnant?! i watched every move they made. husband came back to the car each time with a new item and strategically played tetris trying to fit everything in their BMW station wagon. last to go was their astute irish setter who happily jumped in the back hatch.
husband patiently got in the car, adjusted the music, cranked up the AC, looked on his ipad for directions and made a few phone calls. stunning neighbor wife came out nearly 30 minutes later and hopped in the car. they shared a peck on the lips and headed along their way.
i saw no sign of a baby so i can only assume they were headed to the hospital for a planned pregnancy. at least that's how my story goes.
i watched husband fidget in the car, waiting for her. i thought of all the times ed waits and WAITS for me in a car while i make sure i left the apartment just so and give sam wiggins one last kiss on his forehead. when i get in the car he never asks what took me so long. he knows i puttered my way out of the house as i'm never in a hurry to get anywhere.
for whatever reason, watching neighbor couple out the window left me in an emotional disarray. i never talk about babies on here because, well, i don't want a bubbly baby of my own anytime soon. my career is not where i want it to be and if you asked me what my career was.... i couldn't really tell you. i assure you i don't have it together.
but neighbor couple and their forthcoming child messed with my head. i imagined ed putting in a car seat and re-arranging our imaginary car full of baby items plus a sam wiggins. i didn't mind the thought. i did not mind the thought.
new york brownstone photo by lee brown.