a dog's love.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
i go back and forth regarding the direction i want to take this blog. my hope is that it's a decent resource for recipes, living a semi-healthy lifestyle, and things to do in nyc. this will NEVER, i repeat NEVER, be a DIY blog, and (if i'm lucky enough) someday it will include a baby baust. occasionally i feel the need for this blog to be an actual journal and, well, this is one of those posts.
a few weeks ago i had one of those health scare moments that makes you feel like you've left your own body whilst floating around looking at yourself from the outside in. not my health, not ed's, but sam wiggins. i've thought twice about posting this because you'll either think i'm loony, completely nod your head in agreement, or think i'm entirely immature for believing my relationship with my dog rivals that of a human child. if i've learned anything it's that how you feel is how you feel, and there's nothing wrong with that. everyone has their own thoughts as to where a dog belongs in their family, and if you know me at all, you know where sam wiggins stands.
i noticed sam started to have an oddly uncontrollable thirst, among several other weird behaviors. it got worse over a two day span and knowing what i know, he had the symptoms of diabetes. oh i flipped out for sure. i flipped out so much ed came home early from work to take him to a vet that wasn't even our vet (ours was booked) just so i could start breathing normally again. after the exam, ed calls me immediately with a positive outlook from the vet and the dreaded wait for the test results. this was a friday and we were headed to pick apples the next day with instructions to call the vet around 2pm. the three of us headed on our road trip, my mind mostly at ease, but also dreading the afternoon phone call.
by mid-afternoon, sam in lap and ed behind the wheel, i grab the phone and put the vet on speaker. the nurse answers, puts us on hold for what felt like 30 minutes, and says the vet will need to call us back. if i know anything about how bad news works, nothing good comes from "yeah, um, the doctor will need to speak with you." if the results were in the clear, a nurse has always immediately told us so.
i freaking freaked the freak out. i had a horrible feeling about this whole thing every since mr. thirsty started his water marathons. it started with short shallow breaths and went down into the pit of my stomach. ed is ALWAYS the cool one and after 30 minutes he calls the vet back to get some answers. his take action attitude told me he was silently freaking out too and thank god for that.
in the end, everything was a big misunderstanding and the nurse (damn nurse) should have just told us the results were negative. the vet apologized and assured us sam is just fine. i will never forget that ride home from freehold, new jersey crying actual tears of joy.
in the end, perhaps i over-reacted. i kept thinking, what if this was a for real FOR REAL health scare that concerned ed or myself? i couldn't even handle the possibility of my dog having diabetes!? and what if this was my very own human child? sam has taught us our parenting roles and i play the over-reactor while ed plays the keep-it-together dad that fixes everything.
i had repressed the apple pickin day until the other night when i got in bed with a sore throat and a fever. sam jumped in bed with me as he always does, but this time placed his head on my pillow as if to say "i'm sorry you're sick." i fell asleep to his warm breath on my neck and woke up the next morning with an email (to myself) saying.... "write about the diabetes incident and remember this moment."
a dog's love is complete, unreserved, and unconditional. i hope sam knows i feel the same.