a dog's love.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

mini labradoodle

i go back and forth regarding the direction i want to take this blog. my hope is that it's a decent resource for recipes, living a semi-healthy lifestyle, and things to do in nyc. this will NEVER, i repeat NEVER, be a DIY blog, and (if i'm lucky enough) someday it will include a baby baust. occasionally i feel the need for this blog to be an actual journal and, well, this is one of those posts.

a few weeks ago i had one of those health scare moments that makes you feel like you've left your own body whilst floating around looking at yourself from the outside in. not my health, not ed's, but sam wiggins. i've thought twice about posting this because you'll either think i'm loony, completely nod your head in agreement, or think i'm entirely immature for believing my relationship with my dog rivals that of a human child. if i've learned anything it's that how you feel is how you feel, and there's nothing wrong with that. everyone has their own thoughts as to where a dog belongs in their family, and if you know me at all, you know where sam wiggins stands.

i noticed sam started to have an oddly uncontrollable thirst, among several other weird behaviors. it got worse over a two day span and knowing what i know, he had the symptoms of diabetes. oh i flipped out for sure. i flipped out so much ed came home early from work to take him to a vet that wasn't even our vet (ours was booked) just so i could start breathing normally again. after the exam, ed calls me immediately with a positive outlook from the vet and the dreaded wait for the test results. this was a friday and we were headed to pick apples the next day with instructions to call the vet around 2pm. the three of us headed on our road trip, my mind mostly at ease, but also dreading the afternoon phone call.

by mid-afternoon, sam in lap and ed behind the wheel, i grab the phone and put the vet on speaker. the nurse answers, puts us on hold for what felt like 30 minutes, and says the vet will need to call us back. if i know anything about how bad news works, nothing good comes from "yeah, um, the doctor will need to speak with you." if the results were in the clear, a nurse has always immediately told us so.

i freaking freaked the freak out. i had a horrible feeling about this whole thing every since mr. thirsty started his water marathons. it started with short shallow breaths and went down into the pit of my stomach. ed is ALWAYS the cool one and after 30 minutes he calls the vet back to get some answers. his take action attitude told me he was silently freaking out too and thank god for that.

in the end, everything was a big misunderstanding and the nurse (damn nurse) should have just told us the results were negative. the vet apologized and assured us sam is just fine. i will never forget that ride home from freehold, new jersey crying actual tears of joy.

in the end, perhaps i over-reacted. i kept thinking, what if this was a for real FOR REAL health scare that concerned ed or myself? i couldn't even handle the possibility of my dog having diabetes!? and what if this was my very own human child? sam has taught us our parenting roles and i play the over-reactor while ed plays the keep-it-together dad that fixes everything.

i had repressed the apple pickin day until the other night when i got in bed with a sore throat and a fever. sam jumped in bed with me as he always does, but this time placed his head on my pillow as if to say "i'm sorry you're sick." i fell asleep to his warm breath on my neck and woke up the next morning with an email (to myself) saying.... "write about the diabetes incident and remember this moment."

a dog's love is complete, unreserved, and unconditional. i hope sam knows i feel the same.

54 comments:

Megan Wait said...

Firstly, I have said many times that if dogs could actually speak, I wouldn't even consider having children. I rival the relationship with my dog with that of other people's children.

The other day, someone slapped my dog in the face because she licked her baby. I cried about it later. My Mila's face was just writhed with pain. I nearly slapped the baby in retaliation.

And I have also had freak out episodes like that. Why do they put you through torture? They could just give you the answer from the start. Secretly, I think they enjoy giving people panic attacks.

Luckily your pup is fine, perhaps he just ate somethign that made him really thirsty?

Katie said...

ohh this made me tear up and miss my sweet dogs! I'm studying overseas and can't wait to see them at christmas. such a lovely post...i think any dog owner can relate.

Robyn said...

your sam is just the most gorgeous thing. glad all is ok.

Rebecca said...

This post really hits home! I have a gorgeous cockapoo called Riley who I love to bits (he's like my baby) and I know exactly how you feel. So glad Sam Wiggins is ok. Love your blog xxx

Jen G said...

Your journal posts are my favorites. Still love the one about your better-than-me neighbors. Can't wait for a baby Baust to read about.

Johanna said...

Oh man, this got me a little choked up...esp the part about Sam giving you some sick love. Glad he is A-ok!

Ariel said...

Dog lovers are the best kind of people :)

I want a dog so badly but then I think about how hard it would be to experience all of this and worse. Too much! Ha. I am the over-reactor, for sure!

Glad Sam is okay!

Kim said...

I completely get it. My family just lost our 14-year-old dog to leg cancer and it is probably one of the hardest things we've had to go through. Pets are part of our families, and it hurts so bad to see them in pain.

rebecca said...

kim-
i'm so sorry to hear that. i can't even imagine.

chic81.com said...

A dog always loves you , no matter what. Your feelings (and Ed's) are completely understandable. I grew up with a cat that developed diabetes around 13 years...we took turns giving him insulin shots twice a day. I am so glad to hear that Mr. Sam Wiggins is healthy. :)
-Sonya

Jess said...

I entirely, completely, wholeheartedly agree.

(Also - definitely possible to love your dog that much and not be a total weirdo dog freak who spoon feeds their dog and makes them wear shoes. Right?)

lily said...

I do not have children and I get completely emotional when my dog is sick and not feeling well, which makes me question if I would even be able to handle dealing with a sick human child. Your priorities will def shift when you have kids but for now our dogs are the babies :)

Anonymous said...

:)

Becca said...

My husband's a vet and so we've been on the other side of this agony for a long time... and then we got a beautiful Maine Coon kitten last month.

Let's just say everything is different now.

makingroomwithus.blogspot.it

Angharad said...

We had to give our two cats to my husband's parents (who live ten hours away) this January because my allergies to them are so severe that I developed asthma. The amount that I still think about them, feel gut-wrenching guilt about giving them away, regret not having them be part of our lives for the rest of their lives...well, you'd think they were human. When we go visit them I still feel desperately sad the entire time and sob uncontrollably most of the way home. So...yeah.

I'm so glad for you that Sam Wiggins is ok.

Lottie Simm said...

so glad sam wiggens is ok.

and i think i am going to be the over reactor mum--i can seriously get myself in panics about our baby being ok and she hasn't actually arrived yet.

Danielle E. Alvarez said...

I'm sure he knows :) I feel like dogs can sense love in the way. I'm glad that everything ended up being alright! I miss my dogs so unbelievably so.

Nicole Belleville said...

I can totally relate! Our dog, Hazel, is our first baby and we've always cared for her as we would each other and our little human baby. We've taken time off of work to snuggle her when she doesn't feel well because nobody likes being sick :( Our pups depend on us to do what's right, to care for them, and to love them as they love us.... so I say way to go for caring so much about your adorable Mr. Wiggins! I'm glad he's healthy and it makes me happy to know there are people like you guys who love the pups as much as they deserve to be loved!

Monica L. Shulman said...

As far as I'm concerned dogs are just people in animal suits. I have memories of our family dog when I was little that will never ever leave me. Every time I see a german shep I think about Mac and I'm always amazed at how small the dog looks compared to how enormous Mac always seemed to me when I was a little girl. My sister's two dogs are live my niece and nephew. When her two other dogs passed away I cried and cried bc I missed them and thought about the void that my sister and BIL would feel without them. Becca, Sam may not be a human child but he is YOUR child and the unconditional love you have for him is real and palpable.

And when you do add a baby Baust the day will be amazing and Sam will be the most loving and caring older brother ever and you feel like your family is growing and complete in a different way. xo

Monica L. Shulman said...

I'm sharing this with my sis. x

sumslay said...

Aw, before I had my dog, I did think people like that were nuts.

But now I'm those people. I didn't get a pup for a long time because, well, i'm a big picture thinker, and the big picture of a dog's lifespan ain't great. I do think of my dog as a much quieter, self suffient, more caring version of a child. She's just the best. Also, now when i meet people that aren't dog lovers, I automatically question their integrity. They're clearly not human.

And to Megan: I would have LOST it. That gets me choked up too!

So glad Sam's okay!

rebecca said...

megan-
i'm with sumslay. your comment got me choked up too.

becca-
congrats on your new addition. :)

Kaleigh said...

You are in no way incorrect in comparing your reaction to that of a parent. We were doggie parents for 5 years before having our child, and she totally prepared us for our future parenting roles. Actually, I still freak out when she gets sick because she can't tell me what feels bad, unlike my daughter. I think great dog parents often make great people parents, and you guys sound like you will be both.

Jamie said...

There is nothing quite like a dog's love. It's open and unconditional. Dogs are so vulnerable and rely on us for so much, and all they want in return is some love and attention. I often think of the quote "Be the person your dog thinks you are". I can't remember who said it but it reminds me that our dogs think we are the best ever, so we should try to be that for them. And it sounds like you're doing a great job :)

Brenda Wilkerson said...

So glad Sam is okay. I totally understand.

Elizabeth Soule said...

I agree, you feel how you feel. And if something serious happened with you or Ed, you'd handle it, maybe there'd be some freaking the freak out, but you'd deal. Glad Sam is okay.

Little Rus said...

I can sign after each and every word. My dog is my baby, part of the family and, well, much more than an animal. I think we are equal and I know we have a very special bond and understand each other. I have panic attacks if I think something isn't right with him and am probably too over protective of him most of the time... But the thing is that I love him and know he cannot be without me either and I treasure our relationship. I think one has to be a dog person to understand these things and I'm glad to know that I'm not alone on the subject.

xxx

Thais said...

I'm super attached to my dogs too. To the point that we're having a baby in the next few weeks and I'm feeling guilty that I'm having a baby and how that will affect my fur babies lives. Don't feel bad for worrying, those who don't worry about their pets health are the ones that need to feel bad.

Also a side note, fyi.. the word nurse should only be used for Licensed nurses (LVN, RN, NP, and so on). You talked to a veterinary assistant, or even at most human doctors office you're dealing with a medical assistant or a receptionist. Not a nurse. In hospitals you have nursing assistant or patient care technicians. I know it seems nitty picky but I feel passionate about nursing and hate to be lumped into a huge group of ppl who do not and are not capable of providing the education and care that I am as a licensed nurse and puts a negative association with the word that we're working hard to change. It's all part of the title Nurse Protection act (http://nursingworld.org/MainMenuCategories/Policy-Advocacy/State/Legislative-Agenda-Reports/State-TitleNurse).

rebecca said...

thais-
i appreciate the info. thanks!

Melissa N. said...

I can completely and totally relate to how you feel about your Sam. My Chloe kitty is my baby. I often wish (and openly discuss the fact) that she was a real little girl. My husband and I don't yet have children so maybe it's my maternal instincts and yearnings coming in to play but maybe not. But, you are absolutely right: you feel how you feel, and I love that cat so very much. So happy to hear Sam is well and keeping you in good company!

Lucent Imagery said...

I'm so glad you shared this with us all. My dog is indeed my child amongst many other "labels". As I won't be having children, they will always fulfill that role in our lives. When he was quite sick a few years ago it was so hard. I only have a small list of approved dog sitters, as they have to love him and understand how much he means to me!

Lena at A Crimson Kiss said...

Oh Mr Wiggins, thank goodness you're alright! This post gave me chills, because I can only imagine how you must have felt; I had a similar exchange with a nurse a few months ago about some of my own test results and I truly thought I might pass out from the anxiety. Damn those nurses!

Jen said...

I loved reading this story. My dog Wally means The world to me and I know I would react the same as you did. :)

alexandra snyder said...

I always look forward to seeing new posts from your blog on my Reader, but I especially loved this post. "if i've learned anything it's that how you feel is how you feel, and there's nothing wrong with that."....this is such a good reminder to me and if anything, i hope your blog will include many more posts like the one above.

Kayla Poole said...

oh jeez, I'm either hormonal or overtired (likely both), but now I'm legitimately choked up and majorly relieved that Sam isn't diabetic.

Susan said...

Oh...I know how you feel completely, and our furry children are just as special as any human child. Now having human children, I can say with confidence that my feelings toward Billy have not changed at all. We have three children. Don't ever listen to anyone who tells you it will change when you have kids. They just must not have had the same kind of soulful love that we have with our furry ones. xo

So glad he's ok!

Shoko said...

i'm so glad he's okay - and you're totally not crazy for freaking the freak out - i'd feel the same way about any of my pets!

Nicole said...

Got a little choked up while reading...so glad Sam is okay!

Our Neck of the Woods said...

I totally understand where you're coming from. If you feel crazy for thinking this way about a dog, just imagine how crazy I feel when I freak out over one of my chickens being sick! Love is love :)

LWP said...

Amen! My heart breaks when my dogs so much as cough funny. I immediately assume the worst. They're just so innocent you know. It's heartbreaking. I'm glad Sam Wiggins is diabetes free!

Gwen said...

I just lost my beautiful Petunia three weeks ago today. She was 2 and it happened so quickly. We didn't even know she was sick until it was too late. I miss the holy-crap out of her everyday.

Thus, I know the out-of-body experience. My doggie companions ARE my family and I would challenge anyone to say differently. It has been like losing a sister.

I'm so glad Sam Wiggins is ok, sincerely. He's an adorable little stinker.

House of Milk said...

*sigh of relief* So happy to hear your fur-baby is doing good! I'm the exact same way with my pup... the possibility of a sick pet is completely consuming. Viva Sam Wiggins!

Maria said...

Hello there!

First time to write, 'occasional' lurker... and English is not my mother tongue so bear with me...

1. "Regarding the direction i want to take this blog". It's great. I love your nutrional 'advices'. I especially enjoy your posts where you talk about 'figuring it out': Enjoying the city you live in, moving or not moving, caring abour decorating your home but not too much and above all... what you are doing vs. discovering what you will 'do' (change this verb when appropiate with 'become', 'will be') Hope you can use the feedback.

2. My father is a vet. He taught me a pet is always a PET. Easier said than done. I have always have pets. still dream of my dog who passed away. She died of a septicemia. We ended up (in we I include my father) rushing to a more 'sophisticated' clinic than my father's when he saw he could do nothing more for her and we were all distraught when she couldn't make it. You are not training to be a mother with your dog, they have their own way of getting to you.

Please excuse my long comment :)

Note on a pet is always a pet --- I would never subject my dog to chemo treatments or extremely complicated surgeries... but yeah, they are more than companions.

bonjour, i'm rebecca! said...

,,,while i'm so happy to hear "sam" is healthy, our family bichon frise lived with diabetes for 3 years and i will tell you my heart broke every time i saw my parents give him his insulin shot. i can't even type this comment about our "sweet family member" because i'm crying as i type and can't see for all the tears welling up in my eyes. and "yes" he eventually passed away, last year, from the desease and life, well it's just not the same without him. love sam like there's no tomorrow!,,,

Zakary said...

We have a poodle and my daughter has diabetes. I would much rather it be my dog.

I'm glad Sam Wiggins is ok, he is the cutest furball ever.

Jessica D said...

this post made me cry and run over to my dog for a big hug and kisses. my dog is a member of the family and i'd do anything for him. he's had a few health scares and it was so hard seeing him in pain or waiting on the test results.

Steph said...

OMG,I can't even imagine. SO glad all is fine! This post made me want to run home from work to give my Gracy a squeeze. She is the love of my life and I think all the time about how she is getting older and how thankful I am that she is still healthy. The worst sobbing i ever did was when she was sick in a vet's office. Our doggies are our babies...and will be even when we have babies of our own.

Anonymous said...

Everyone who has an animal should have your reaction. Animals are unconditionally loving and so much better than most humans in terms of how they treat others and how they live their lives. They count on their human for everything -- water, food, healthcare, etc. When adopting an animal, you commit to it for for life and you're its lifeline to everything. Accordingly, panicking over healthcare issues is appropriate.

Don't mean to worry you, but have you considered getting a second opinion about your dog's health? The water symptom you noticed is serious. It's what tipped me off to an animal with cancer and an animal with kidney issues. Changes in drinking can be indicative of many serious health issues.

Also, if you don't already, consider switching to the most high-quality foods possible to help you pet live as long as possible. Go to nice dog boutique and buy food that's grain-free and only made with high-quality, recognizable, whole-food, human-grade ingredients. Feed more wet food than dry food - animals don't get the water content they need from dry food. And consider switching partially to raw food. You can get it actually raw, or you can get frozen pellets of raw food from better pet stores.

denise said...

so glad to hear sam wiggins is ok!

i had a similar scare last january when my dog (gatsby) fell sick to what we thought was an upper respitory infection but what really turned out to be hemolytic anemia - his white blood cells were attacking his healthy red blood cells. after about three months of weekly blood tests and daily prednisone dosage he is back to healthy. it was the worse feeling being helpless and watching gatsby weak, pale, and short of breath without knowing why through the diagnostic phase.

he's fine now but he seeks assurance and affection instead of being very independent as he was before. i've formed the habit compulsively check his ears and gums to make sure they're they appropriate pink color, and when he looks all good i give him a big hug and kiss.

Casey said...

I don't know if you've already seen this sweet letter that Fiona Apple wrote about her dog, but it made me think of you, and your blog, and this wonderful post.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/perpetua/fiona-apple-is-cancelling-her-tour-because-her-dog

rebecca said...

denise-
i'm so glad gatsby is ok now. i can't even imagine.

casey-
thank you so much for sharing.

Sarah Scott said...

I know this is a totally delayed comment (I just discovered your blog and then got to this post via your "sam wiggins" tag). I think I just fell in love with you blog primarily (but not solely!) based upon the fact that you frequently post about your dog. We recently rescued a cathoula leopard mix - we got her at 10 weeks and have had her for going on 4 months. I am totally enamored with her, even when she chews the wall. I can't wait to add your blog to my favorites list and share in your doggy mommy moments. :P

medical assistant said...

What is a Medical Assistant?

A Medical Assistant is a non-licensed health care professional who usually works under the supervision of a licensed physician in a doctor’s office, clinic, hospital or other health care setting to assist in the organization and smooth running of the facility. Education is often the first step towards a career in this high demand field, that can help provide you with many years of rewarding work experience!

Cuttysark said...

Hi, interesting post i just stumbled onto your blog by accident and i think its great that you post about dog, I will be coming back to read more of your post, have a nice day!

Cathy XoXo
groodle puppies for sale

Post a Comment

ShareThis